The dates weekend

This weekend has been different yet comfortable. I realize for both Saturday and Sunday, I had either start or end my day at ah ma house. As yen rightfully commented, my comfort zone.

Saturday's date was me gong out of the way to not have my way. I booked the tickets to a movie I have no real interest but knew it's the preferred movie for him. He offered to pay for dinner and I ate ramen with him again for the second time. Not a fan of ramen in Singapore but nevertheless convinced him and myself that it is ok. Dinner turn out not so bad, movie was alright too. I don't know.

" if it's normal to be distracted, in my own thoughts and doubts. If i can get past the MAIN hurdle and if having just a companion, is what I want. If I have gotten used to dating older and more financially stable men ( who say and do the right things ), and if I can move out of the everything taken care of dating. If at 26, it will be alright to still believe in love like I do. That heart flutters and to be with someone that I love no matter when and why. "

Sunday's was a blind date disguised as a group outing. Three girls one guy, and the intention for both of us to get to know each other. I saw his fb profile and he probably seen mine ( the modern age introduction). We had one enjoyable lunch, followed by a spontaneous trip to have the famous bean curd. Credits had to go to the two girls, who make the whole meeting causal , light and almost normal. For me, it definitely help with the couple of "practices" and that I was in a carefree and care less mood. All game for a good time. Honestly, the guy will have fulfill most of my "high" standards based upon appearance, character and values. ( Minus the missing single eye lid haha or that he is of the same age.)

So in the end, I could not help feeling perplexed this weekend. There no need for me to make a choice or whatnot, and I am equally thankful the datezillia in me have not felt the need to cut off all contact and future dates prematurely. Something which I am pretty good at, and roll eye worthy. When it dawned on me, I am afraid that I will never like somebody as much and as hard before.... I think I realise what has been bothering me. Just a companion isn't good enough.

On the other hand, I am awared what I know about those has been clouded and really not much to say of. That the likelihood of me being wrong than right, is way high. If you build your castles on sand, they are bound to disappoint.