in due course

i am going _________ tomorrow

:)

Tresses

My hair stylist is no longer working at the salon. And now I don't know where and how to track him down?! Majorly upset about this. On the bright side, I have no plans to do anything to my hair in the near future.

超难过

残忍

This week has been activities packed. I am tired by the discovery stage, late nights, forced conversations and it doesn't help that I am feeling teeny weeny half- hearted on all these. The datezila in me are yearning to explore.

Beginning

Something has been bothering me since the rather impromptu meet-up on Thursday. It got me falling back into like. SIGHZ. " what is my type?", "what makes him different from the rest?" been getting lots of such questions lately and I am find myself lost of words. What could aptly described what i feel inside? And how can i define some one into mere characteristics?

I am cynical that this is what i want. And I worry that its a classic case of you wanting what you cant have. If so, I worry about what will become of any relationship in the future.

Tomorrow will be an important date. I know I should not be placing such importance to our first one-to-one. But i wistfully think that if he can stir feelings in me like M.impoSsible, then it will *ahem* be easier. This probably give M.efforT too little credit and puts too much hope on a second meetup.

A friend once shared that "the one+" usually appear when you have many options. I laughed when I first heard it. It sound like a myth then. But now, I secretly hide under my optimistic blanket and hope its true. (+Not referring to the one you walk down the aisle with here)

The dates weekend

This weekend has been different yet comfortable. I realize for both Saturday and Sunday, I had either start or end my day at ah ma house. As yen rightfully commented, my comfort zone.

Saturday's date was me gong out of the way to not have my way. I booked the tickets to a movie I have no real interest but knew it's the preferred movie for him. He offered to pay for dinner and I ate ramen with him again for the second time. Not a fan of ramen in Singapore but nevertheless convinced him and myself that it is ok. Dinner turn out not so bad, movie was alright too. I don't know.

" if it's normal to be distracted, in my own thoughts and doubts. If i can get past the MAIN hurdle and if having just a companion, is what I want. If I have gotten used to dating older and more financially stable men ( who say and do the right things ), and if I can move out of the everything taken care of dating. If at 26, it will be alright to still believe in love like I do. That heart flutters and to be with someone that I love no matter when and why. "

Sunday's was a blind date disguised as a group outing. Three girls one guy, and the intention for both of us to get to know each other. I saw his fb profile and he probably seen mine ( the modern age introduction). We had one enjoyable lunch, followed by a spontaneous trip to have the famous bean curd. Credits had to go to the two girls, who make the whole meeting causal , light and almost normal. For me, it definitely help with the couple of "practices" and that I was in a carefree and care less mood. All game for a good time. Honestly, the guy will have fulfill most of my "high" standards based upon appearance, character and values. ( Minus the missing single eye lid haha or that he is of the same age.)

So in the end, I could not help feeling perplexed this weekend. There no need for me to make a choice or whatnot, and I am equally thankful the datezillia in me have not felt the need to cut off all contact and future dates prematurely. Something which I am pretty good at, and roll eye worthy. When it dawned on me, I am afraid that I will never like somebody as much and as hard before.... I think I realise what has been bothering me. Just a companion isn't good enough.

On the other hand, I am awared what I know about those has been clouded and really not much to say of. That the likelihood of me being wrong than right, is way high. If you build your castles on sand, they are bound to disappoint.

Which sort are you?

Hong Kong and Chengdu have been a lot of things roll into one... Its probably one of the longest holidays I had with friends :) So we shared a little, walked miles in cities and took back with us lots of pictures and memories. My favourite part of the trip - Massage! The cold weather and chilly breeze were bonus, so glad to be away from the sun and humid/rains back home.

The 26th birthday was a blast but somehow I think age has creep in slowly. In ways that one would not have imagine within circles. Comfort circle. Close circle of friends. Circle of trust. I am for one, somewhat affected though I like to think I can be indifferent.

Why do you always find myself in such situations? Yen questioned. Honestly I see them differently but nevertheless equally likely to lead to no where. There a few cliche idealism popping in my head these couple of days and I have also officially began nitpicking. No one is perfect,neither am I.

Some snippets from the original article which really reasonate with me at the moment..

The way I see it, there are four types of people when it comes to love.

The first finds a soulmate early in life. She marries him, they set up a home, have kids, and their life's pretty settled from then on.

The second type moves from one relationship onto another, and the relationships are more often than not fraught with woes. Life is one roller-coaster ride as she soars with joy and plunges into misery.

The third sort doesn't care for relationships, for she can be perfectly happy without a beloved by her side.

Then, there is the fourth type, who dearly wishes to be involved with someone, but can't find the right partner

..

If you love a person, you would want to show him off.

...

If you have any qualms at all about the person whom you say you love - perhaps you're embarrassed by the car he drives, or that he's balding or that he stutters or doesn't have a university degree - it can't be love.

....

The relationships I treasure started from chance encounters, never through a blind date or an arranged meeting. And for those who are single, fret not. Serendipitous meetings do happen.

Sumiko Tan
The Sunday Times, August 2, 1998