Nowhere

My probation ended abruptly on Friday, with me leaving the office heart-broken and defeated. At age 25, I encountered my first humiliation at work, for what I could not deliver soon enough. Its been one experience that brought me down to earth, and forced me to face my failure straight in the face. After 16 years of education and countless newspapers or books, there is not much to show for my grasp of the English language. I always thought that I write better than I speak, and sought comfort in that naive belief. When you are quarter of a century and have this belief proven otherwise by your boss, I knew I was fighting a losing battle and pleading further was just delaying the inevitable. At the moment, I just wasn't the right fit.

Although I would not agree with the contradicting manner the boss had gone about this exercise, nor understand what is the underlying core reason for dismissal, I will not let this discount the effort and good work I had done for the past 26 days. Everyone including the boss himself could see my diligence and competency in research, but they did not matter in the end.

For the year 2010, I learn things the hard way. In love and career, I came to realize I was not good enough, after all.

For year 2011, may the downs of the past year let let me appreciate the ups more ...