I need to whine

I am so PISSED. The kid that dropped me for tuition is not paying me for the lesson. Its not the full amount and neither is it a big sum i know BUT then why isn't they paying like they should? Arghhhhhh!!!!! I so dislike the whole thing and i so know its double standard cos it wasn't like that with the other two tutee. It doesn't even matter if they do not pay me or that I give them a lesson extra. But its one thing to want to do so and another to be treated like that. And the worse thing is the tuition agency that link us up is so not willing to help now. B.L.E.H. I so gonna call them again if i still hear nothing from Jensen.

I have been reading. Sending out resumes. Watching dramas. Arranging meet ups and stuffs. I have been thinking. Not those long pondering what ifs , could be scenarios. Maybe remembering is a better word.

Sometimes your heart surprise even yourself. I saw the sub nick on msn and i felt not so much of regret but understanding. That whatever I thought there was might never have been there or not as steadfast. If I could just sum it up, its probably two lonely people seeking companionship. And like always, I guess some things I could do differently but I one thing I realize, I never learn my lesson.

On another matter, was ranting with my G.G girlies and it downed on me that closure is when you can accept it. Acceptance that it has ended. Acceptance no matter if its the truth or the lie. Acceptance that nothing is gonna come back. I don't know if I have really accepted it. But I do know that its no longer up to me anymore, and really I do not have much of a choice. And maybe its the too many ultimatum, it doesn't hurt as much as previous occasions. It could be a woman's intuition. The interest is not there.

I don't know what I miss more.
treats.
rides.
digs.
sms.
him.
or just having someone.