Fortune

I am feeling 3 emotions now, but I feel as if its a thousand different senses flooding my heart. Feeling not exactly well. Like you are not physically sick yet yr heart just seem in need of something... I miss yen like crazy and its only less than 24 hours. I guess its never feel good to be the one waiting. Waiting while someone is away is crazy... And I actually did tell someone tt its ridiculous, that anyone will feel that way while someone is on trip. BIG HA. Now I am feeling stoopid as well. Not bcos of yen. I know she miss me too, so since its mutual. We aren't stoopid. But I feel stoopid that I gave in once again, when I should really not bother anymore.

Times like this, it is very tempting to find the easier way out. To just said never mind about all things I feel is impt, and just give it a try... But I can't do that at all. I hate myself now... Self-esteem at it lowest. I wish that I can be drunk in happiness and be heckless in dos... What am I ?

Yen said once that after 3 hours of nap, she went from depression to happiness. I think I need a big rest now. A Huge Rest from here...

Anyway, I was locked out at home. No keys. All doors locked. My only auntie who is at home is sleeping. Tried to call till my batt finally went dead. Had to throw slippers. And attempt to climb to 2nd floor. I wanted so much to break down like always. But I remember this show i wished. Don't ever cry , when you know you haven't try your darnest to make things work. When you haven use up all your energy. . .. And come to think about it, what else is there to cry about if you had already done your darnest. I had always heart crying. But after that show, something in me wants to be that strong girl. To not shed a tear unnecessarily...

There is always something you can do... =)