BEAMS

I read those online guides to what he really means when he say blah blah blah. As much as i am tickled, I am Very Offended =( Why like that? Was my first thought when the bubbles kept getting burst.. *PoPs* Then i think back on the past when I have "a busy schedule" and then i understood. Karma, No lars. Just that there really aren't much difference between Venus & Mars. Heh.


Do You sterotypes people you meet? Do You categories people who has made their 'marks' long enough? I do I do. I sterotype her attitude punk hair and tan complexion to be a attitude sporty girl. She is girly giggly sweet and carrys umbrella to hide from the sun. I see his good looking exterior and conclude he is a flirt good for nothing badie. Heh. Okie this is a JOKE cos there aren't a flirt good for nothing badie in the world. I am that naive *beams* Haha, it is a lie cos there is not even a good looking exterior him in my life now so the latter bit i imagine it. Woah. When I talked with Yun, I realised that like her i do group people I met (long enough to invoke postive/negative vibes) into extreme categories. There is Like, Dislike, Hate. Ai Heng Fen Ming. =) Heh.


I am a kpoh queen. A rather resourceful smart one. And because I unearth the pasts thoughts-provoking e-spaces, and through them seem to understand what makes the person the person is and also feel that much closer bcos I read about the pasts before we even met. .. I love google!

Bon Jovi

Hearts Breaking Even

Its been a cold, cold, cold, cold night, tonight
And I cant get you off of my mind
God knows Ive tried
Did I throw away the best part of my life
When I cut you off
Did I cut myself with the same damn knife
Hide my tears in the pouring rain
Had my share of hurt and pain
Dont say my name, run away, cause its all in vain

My hearts breaking even, now theres no use we even try
Hey I cried, yeah I lied, hell I almost died
Dont got a reason
Lets just fold the cards and say good-bye
Its all right, just two hearts breaking even tonight

Its been a long, long, long, long time
Since Ive had your love here in my hands
We didnt understand it, we couldnt understand it
But, nothings fair in love and hate
You lay it all down and walk away, before its too late
We danced all night as the music played
The sheets got tangled in the mess we made
There in the stains, we remain
No one left to blame


My hearts breaking even, now theres no use we even try
Hey I cried, yeah I lied, hell I almost died
Dont got a reasonLets just fold the cards and say good-bye
Its all right, just two hearts breaking even tonight

Go on, get on with your life
Yeah - Ill get on with mine
Broken hearts cant call the cops
Yeah - its a perfect crime
Twisting and turning the night keeps me yearning
Im burning alive
Im paying the price again

But Ill see the light again
My hearts breaking even, now theres no use we even try
Hey I cried, yeah I lied, hell I almost died
Dont got a reason
Lets just fold the cards and say good-bye
Its all right, just two hearts breaking even tonight


* another nice song , send ya KL *)

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Did a online personality test, which is rather different from those norm ones. No "if" questions or multiple choices with none of the answers which you will choose... Just plain beautiful pictures. Hee, Realise its harder to choose this way.Cos sometimes i am tempted to click the one which is better taken than what it actually represent. Telling trait i know.. HAAHA.. But my result I dun exactly remember but i do remember that my choices are rather "cold door" compare to the total percentage.Wellwell, I guess that cos i am different. Heh

http://dna.imagini.net/friends

I find myself not wanting to be the same anymore. From Yen i meant. Its not like i dislike having a twin sister. Its not even bcos of the many mistaken hellos and byes we each exchange with unknowning friends. But I dun like how sometimes being ning is not enough. I secretly harbored thoughts like Yen would have made a better friend to my friends or that they will have Yen and would not like me anymore. I know, its damm stupid... Then there are those inquistive questions cos we are twins. Dun get me started on questions like "who is prettier?" , " who is smarter?" ROAR! ..... >'<

See the ironic contradiction on my above paragraphs... Heh, I know. I am difficult to please.


P.s: Joann! I know you will be bored with nothing to read/bored by friendsters while preparing for monster exams... so i shall still blog for you... Must be honoured ahs.. Tsk tsk.. All the best galies!

You got mail!

When was the last time you did something for the first time?
I really like the emirates tagline, cos not only was it filmed successfully to invoke the "feel good" sense in me . It also did drive home the message in the marketing aspect.

In another marketing commercial, the latest one to discourage smoking was really hard to stomach. I am not sure how many different series there are , but the one i saw about oral cancer was horrifying to say the least =(


You got mail too! =)

Grandfather's Collection

Grandfather's Collection

The place where

we immersed in Oldies

Vintage fun & Beauty

Vesper Rides & Bimbos Dreams

Springed a glass rose surprise

& live the Rock n Roll Dream..

what a night it was... Priceless !

Thursday:

The mini date with Kl was extended to another 3rd party! Gasp! Haa..Sr joined us as well & KL got us each a red rose! It was a really sweet gesture and the meaning behind it is deep deep. I like =) We then walk to Arab St which i have been wanting to go forever BUT never ever went. Saw Jolene again & i think i scared and molest her again! Oppsie. *CL girls alert: Jolene said she feeling the CL meeting drought liao!*

Anyway, We ate at this Roti Prata shop that has a 2nd floor and air con!! And the prata portion was huge & bcos i thght its those 'normal' sizes I ordered three. I couldn't finish & the gurls wont help me eat the last prata. >-<

Game of Life

It strikes me that Life is really a game. You can choose how you want to play it but you got to definitely play it to be in the game.

In Love,you got to be in the dating game to be in the "market"as hedi klum always says in fashion you are in or you are out.I believe it's the same for the game of love,I believe we have been sitting on the sidelines for long enough..sometimes I think that wait, I would only come into the game when there are the one i like, when there are better players in the game...sometimes I wish to be in the game just so I can experience the high, the bliss and the adrenline rush of being in love...confused and cynical as ever but still believing

both way I can argue it. haiz.

In friendship,i believe its a game we played together.The memories and joy of playing the game...With different friends, its a different game setbut witht the same game plan to play the game forever.

In obstacles and hardships,its like losing a game but you can always try again...losses always happen but you have to overcome them anyway

In beauty,acquiring beauty is like a game plan.think,strategy and buy=)remember never to take it too seriously.winning a game give you confidence...gaining beauty give you confidence

In family,family support you in every game =)

-by Money

I cant say how much i like her post... Sometimes you read something & you think woah that was great. This IS great...

box of bitter chocolate, J !

They said life is a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gonna get. I really like chocolates. But really do not like life now.

I hate friendster sometimes. It is too direct as much as its superficial i know. Its too private as much as it is a gossip tabloid. Take everything with a pinch of salt. But my biggest self-identificable flaw is, I think too much. Xiang tai tuo. A girl 6th sense has to be right. My gut feeling never fails me. . . But i guess its good, cos there is a reason for the saying "chai(long) tong(pain) bu(no) ru(maybe) tua(short) tong(pain) " ... Everything IS easier now, than later.

Surprise me!

Its been awhile since yen & I shopped and eat to our hearts content. hee. It was great to buy buy buy. And in total spend less than a hundred. So it was below budget, but exceed sense of satisfaction. Hee. I have been trying to have @ least a tag line in everythin i say/do. Cos you see, it helps in my marketing work!! Hee. ;)


Work has been great. Not so much of what i am doing there great, but my IA friends make there - great! =)


Now is the meet up drought period cos everyone in school busy with upcoming exams!!! Hmmz, i miss everybody and i am glad this thurs i'm meeting KL again for our mini date. . .

Oh oH i read this very interesting article on Nu You today. It was analaysing what happens when a guy & a girl meets

for girls:
There are two ladders. On first encounter,we will put those guys that we hav abso no romantic attraction to this "purely friends only" ladder. Guys on this ladder would remain friends only. No moving to the other ladder, the "potential" ladder. Guys whom find themselve on this "potential" ladder, can date and ask the girl out. How high they climb , depends on the girl las. But the THING IS, guys who fails to be with the girl are forever kick out of the girl's life. As in they will not move to the "purely friends only" ladder either.

For guys:
There are only one ladder. Every girl has the 'potential' to climb up the ladder to be with the guy she likes.

Okies, i know the flow is horrible. But it was a Chinese magazine and my translation is terrible.. =-) But you get the idea. .. =-D

pesto

He talked to me on msn again.

Haha, i replied back. Yay, i know Kl, You must be going tsk tsk.. =-P Mr soft spot. Yup, he def is! But i am really trying to be mature here.

But i am glad. Okie, thrilled

crEEp

I met er xin na ren @ IT SHOW. This particular old uncle came and asked to take my picture. I let him took once, and when he asked to take again I OBLIGED. But he kneel down and take in a rather weird position & start thinking something is not quite right. I "pose" in a way that i stand behind the table and jsut kept fidgeting. Hoping he wont get a good shot. He did not. So he asked for another picture. ARGHHHHHHH. Now i cannot take it anymore, I said my "boss" dun allow and that he did not buy anything too. Imagine my horror when he took out his wallet. Super Idiotic GUY las. He did not buy at first but he came back later and brought my $79 product!!!! He asked for a picture since he already paid and bought. This kind of guy IS so so irritating........ Makes me wan to cry that time. I hate myself.

I start to ask myself why i keep letting them get away with it. I wish i could spurn rude crude words at them and maybe even point the finger at them.... I wish i could just said No in the first place. That time on the train. The stoopid bagal. The old tee-gok uncle who like to snap secretive pictures even i said no. >.< PUI PUI PUI. I hate them more .

Dreams of you & me...

He doesnt know. He read that last entry and not know i was refering to him. Knowing me, i din let it go just like that... I CANT. He still pretend that everything is normal. I went through all this trouble of thinkin up a nice blog name, changing blog and he totally have no tiny damm idea. ARGHHHHH!!! The worse thing is no matter how i directly tell him anything, he seem to have no idea what i am getting at. SHUTS. HE IS THE ULTIMATE .

I find myself moving closer to the other direction while having my glance fixed at the past. You know how important that thing was to you before, but somehow times changes the beat of yr heart...


I show down tonite. As i type i feel like crying, both from relief & sadness. .. Don't Cry ning....

* When they said the truth hurts, I wasnt expecting it to empty me. I wish he wasn't so honest, why can't he leave the worst out? Yen said a show down is suppose to be honest so to not leave any false hopes. Maybe its the false hope and the past closeness i have been clinging on. And for every word i typed, i wished he will let me in .... He used liked. At that moment i feel like crying, i hate past tense. In summary, " you liked me, but the magic is gone, so done." That i cant forget. I wished he stopped me. That he tells me that its not true, instead that its a very brief summary and there are so much else that he cannot put in words.

Another thing that he pointed out is that WHEN the magic starts to fade gradually... When i started to be less chatty and "gloomy". I remembered he did ask me before. He wasnt the only oen who pointed this out (guys). I think i have this problem of clamming up as i go out more often with guys. I start to have second thoughts. I start to listen more. Although i honestly swear that adr never bores me (he thinks he is boring & not chatty) and all the quiet rides in his car tog, he thought i was gloomy are just me relaxing and chilling.. It was that comfortable... And i remembered besides the other guys in my life, it was also because I had been thinking for the past 2 or 3 months prior to that , that he doesnt like me and it was all one-sided. And you know what i found out, at that time he thought he wasn't good enough for me.T.T

" I am begining to be so irrational and resentful abt everything. Why cant i be normal to him......I want to talk to him, to see him BUT i aslo dont know what to talk to him about ...cant face him. .. Something is missing... It was there but now gone...surprise at how much i wan to be with him & at the same time very clear that things are no longer what i want them to be!! Damm Shit." -2 months b4 he told me he like(d) me



"Its over!!The lost of someone i like? Or the lost of the friendship i thought was long-lasting and beautiful?....What is gonna happen after exam(he told me time will tell after exams) is no longer impt...maybe it nv was anyway...." - 1 month b4 he told me he like(d) me


What is a blow to me in this whole matter is , I feel that i am in the wrong (he insist it was his cowardness, etc)and i am guilty of making him doubt then at the time. My clam up problem. Him telling me so many beautiful finally spoken words and the so many hurting truth as well... He said every decision he makes has only one objective. Its for my happiness and he did not wan to drag on for that. I believe him, he is a good guy. But I just cant see my happiness yet. And the best and worst dates. Manz, when we remicise about that first date at MS and his favourite date- swensen with wenxin & me, something in me just want things to be different now.

I said my goodbyes last nite. Wish him all the best. I wont be seeing him again. I will never see him again. He is graduating this sem. His final year. I know this is rather immature, but i cant face him. I feel transparent...


*




Next entry i will share more abt the er xi uncle i meet at it show.. CREEP

Happy, again.

Its been a crazy twist & turns of events...

I am in charge of sponorship and advertisement promotions, so this week i meet up with the National Netball Association People & the Singapore Slingers. It was especially Nerve-wrecking gan-chiongness @ its highest level for the Slingers as i have to meet them alone. =-) Wasn't the least prepare and felt that i was thrown into the sea with just a float... But then i realise i cld swim las. Hee, I guess it wasnt as bad as i thought. Could do better next time still. =-)


And i unbelievably talked to this CHIJ ex-classmate for an hr at least ON THE PHONE bcos of the netball links etc. It was particularly strange cos Janice and I were not really in the same clinque back in the ancient days, but somehow became closer in Uni after so many years. & the strange bit too is , i surposedly don't like to talk on the phone. I guess the previous "yin ying" is a thing of the past...=-) It was great to be just talkin about school, IA, future ambitious... These days i have been remiscing abt secondary school days alot. I realise the fond memories back then really painted some colours into my dull life. . .


* frog porridge @ geylang with the family
IT Show on the weekends with mY IA friends..
The thinking brain taking a back seat,
cos i just wanna be happy.

Campfire burNING

Cheers to the many years we been through,
& the years to come...

yi qian

You know what - I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. If its one month, two month or the end le. *-* B-L-E-A-C-H Not gonna be sway by anything i hear or read, to want to try again. . .

on another note:

I read back those "obvious" hints i dropped and the long passage of my bravest dare, & the almost literal stab back at the point seem almost too quick for me to react. If truth is to be told, i couldn't dare spoke if i wasnt confident. . The butterfly & moments. The experiences & the capitvity. The colors & the contacts. Did you ever get it? Maybe you did & warn me so.. But i was too confident to believe. Now i am left with almost nothing and it would have been easier to forget if i really HAD nothing. But no, you left me a truckload of butterflies. Thank You.

-------
End of EMo.
-------


Took a cab to NTU yest,and the uncle forgot to start the meter. My colleague discover it first, & we have a laugh over it. Hee, blur uncle sia!

NUS sold only one product. And we were ecentric, sending sms back to office & calling back.... =-) Delight can come w/o expectation. Brought ice cream to celebrate with Jan. Our One and only Buyer got us each a juice drink even. Yun said cos we are petty.. Hees ;-P

P.s: romance in progress is NOT a status i am in. Just thght that door hanger frm Elle Feb issue is nice

Littlest Things - Lily Allen

Fantasy lala-lanD *vanish*

I saw this when i was at one of NUS Hostel. All i can said is. They know how to enjoy life. It makes me think of - Sun-shades, coke with ice, bikinis, sun .... I wish i could jump in then, cos it was so hot then las... Tsk tsk.. ;-)

if i could believe...

I am thinking, why is every step forward seem like a big step back.
Why do i feel this way everytime i tried to move closer....
Shuts

Drama-meloda

My life is a drama ; i slipped and missed a step when i walked, I am accident prone as often as i have embarrassing encounters. I climbed 13 storeys to get to my tutee place. And today, i was almost , very close to late for my driving basic theory test. I was stucked in an impossible jam & i cried myself silly. I keep thinking " Ning, Dun cry. It is just a test. Dun cry ..." But i still burst out on the taxi. I felt helpless. Total helpless. I wished i could run through the jam like the singtel ad. I wished i was early.. Crying was a relief. And i din bother to hold my tears once it starts to flow. Man, crying is damm good. I felt the weight off my shoulder, and today i felt everything IS going to be okay.

Its okie, if i never maked the call to find comfort & laughters from him.
Cos i learnt to find the humour in a humourless situation by my own.
Its okie, if i never seek his wisdom words of advice & assurance.
Cos i am sure it couldn't get any worse than now.
Its okie, if i din ask for any help.
Cos angels help me nevertheless.
So i guess i am okay.


I hate how i cant make up my mind though.. *bleah* Then i realsied nuthin to make u my mind to. Stoopid

Videos to watch!!! Dreamgirls

lets celebrAte , Cheers!

Xin Bdae Celeb was at Daybed Bar. We were LATE even later than the duo who cabbed down from NTU.. *guilty face* We lazed around the beds and as we drank finish our drinks & it gets later, we take a even more comfortable position on the bed, We just lie there.. Jol fell asleep even. Hahhaa, cos there were so many pillows and its was comfie! Had my standard lime margaritas again.. =-)

Again cos, the day before i have a mini date with KL. We share starter, main & dessert at NYDC. Did a "novel" thing. We ordered each one by one, decidin what to eat only after we finish our food. Heez, then went over to acid bar & check out their live band and lime margaritas. Its strange tat we did exactly what i hope a guy will romance me with.. hee, having the same liking in food like potatoes & mushrooms then sharing deep deep conversation while jsut chillin out , with nice live music behind. Damm good las... ;-)

In love.. hees